You will face me, sir.

Dear Skype; recently, your software sucks.

Well, what isn’t the problem? Frankly, and I do hate to be this blunt to the poor person sat behind the company Twitter account, it’s godawful.

Skype devs, I urge you to read the feedback in your app’s reviews. ‘Pretty bad’ doesn’t even cover it. And they’re nigh-unanimous. And correct.

Here’s a transcript of my own review:

This may be the worst app in existence. The only app ever I’ve had to keep uninstalling and reinstalling to keep it from crashing. Constantly locking up or crashing to homescreen, doesn’t stay signed in in the background properly, history won’t delete, straight out lies about whether a contact is on or offline, lies about how much balance I have left, lags when sending and receiving messages, overuse of spacing on chats makes them unusable in landscape mode. While the UI is slightly prettier over the old version, it’s at the cost of the app being totally unusable. I’d give it 0/5 if I could, and if there were a way to download the old version like I have on Mac (because Skype 5.0 is abysmal there too) I would recommend just that. I urge everyone to ‘Report a Problem’ with this app asking Skype to read these reviews and fix the stupid thing. We’ve all put up with this way too long.

But it doesn’t stop with my review either. Here are a few of the choicer ones from the App Store:

I think everyone would be happy if Skype just admitted they made a mistake and rolled back to the old version of their app. Y’know, the one that worked. This version is bloated, it’s laggy, it’s broken, it’s above the 20MB download margin. Sort it out.